**I've debated about writing this post for a few days now. I'm really not all about broadcasting my personal business out there for all to read. But writing about it has helped me heal along the way, and my hope is that somehow someone will google and as a result get this post and that it will help them.**
Scott and I found out April 21st that I was pregnant! We were very excited! We had been trying for awhile now (around 6 months). William happened the first month we started trying!
I was tired, but had very few other symptoms. I thought I was lucky to have no morning sickness!
We had told a few people that we were expecting. I cut out my Diet Coke and started trying to eat a lot healthier! ( I don't want to gain another 75lbs with a pregnancy.) All was going well. We decided that after my first appointment we would tell people at work and the rest of the family. I would be 7 weeks and a few days. The baby's due date was December 29th. Which was perfect! It's when I roll into my 3rd year of work, so I could squish 2 weeks of vacation from the 2nd and 3rd year back to back to help with maternity leave. Not to mention, Scott already had met a lot of our deductible and the hospital this year, and the tax return in a few months would be nice!
The appointment was on Monday. Saturday I started spotting. I freaked out a little bit but it was minimal and stopped. Sunday it started up again. It was a lot more and I was clotting. But I had no cramps and I called the OB department. They said if it wasn't too much and I had no cramps that I wouldn't need to come in, and since I had my appointment tomorrow it would be ok if nothing changed. I was at work, and called someone in to cover me and left to go home and rest.
Monday the cramps started. I go in and explain that I'm almost positive I'm miscarrying. After checking my cervix it was open and they confirmed I was. They sent me to get an ultra sound to just double check and to make sure it wasn't an ectopic (outside of the uterus) pregnancy. It wasn't. It was a blighted Ovum. Meaning that when the cells split, the gestational sac and placenta developed, but no baby did. Hormones were released and that is why I got a positive pregnancy test. No baby was formed most likely because something didn't match up with the chromosomes. It's amazing how smart our bodies are!
I now had the options of continuing to miscarry at home, to take meds to help me with it, or to have a D&C. I was very uneducated on the subject. My Midwife was a little concerned at how much I was bleeding so I chose the D&C. They procedure happened the same day and only took about 30 mins start to finish! I highly recommend it. The pain was gone right after the procedure and I think it's helped me with the process of dealing with the whole situation (To have it done and not prolonged). I keep telling Scott that it's crazy a week ago I was pregnant, and none the wiser, and now I'm not pregnant and it's just weird!
So while Scott and I are sad, because the baby would have been at a good time for us, we know that God's timing will be better. Knowing that a baby never formed has helped me deal with the fact that I didn't lose a baby, but I did lose the thought of one. I go on knowing that if I carried this baby, that I would not be carrying the next baby, the one we hopefully will get to hold in our arms someday. I also am thankful for my Will, who has been climbing all over me as I'm trying to type this. That I was blessed with him. Hopefully in a few months we'll get to share good news of a baby joining the Pearl household! :) Thanks for reading. And a very special Thanks to those that supported Scott and I during this time. We appreciate it and you mean the world to us!
Park City Utah
2 years ago
